Time flies!

5 years ago on this day I was diagnosed... It's gone so quick! 

It's definitely been a rollarcoaster of emotions, that's for sure! So for my 5 year anniversary I thought I would share my diagnosis story.... It's a bit of an emotional one and still is to this date the scariest time in my life but here goes....

D day - my story 

I was so confused laying on a hospital bed....all i was hearing was this word 'Diabetes' I had heard of this word but did not know what it meant and was not aware of how this one little word was going to affect me for the rest of my life...

I had been feeling horrid all week! Drinking water, milk and anything I had to hand by the gallon and going to the toilet too many times to count, mouth was dry and sore throat, i was sick and had no appetite and had lost nearly a stone in weight...feeling very tired all the time and not wanting to move....what a way to end the great half term i was having. I put it down to a virus or a bug and went to bed that friday night feeling like death warmed up.

Woke up feeling worse than the previous day, made myself get up and dressed and felt so weak and tired, i knew something was wrong so i asked my friend to take me to A and E just to get myself checked out. Got seen pretty quickly and had a discussion with the doctor led to him diagnosing me with 'gastroenteritis' or something along those lines.... I protested alot as i knew it was more than that but i gave up and figured he was the doctor and he knew what was best, so took my gaviscon he gave me and went back home.

Woke up sunday midday...seriously not feeling good! Tried to get some food down me and also guzzled some lucozade for much needed energy boost. By about 4pm i was feeling so weak i could not even stand up without holding onto something, my breathing was really shallow too, my flatmate and our friend were in at the time and this led to another trip to the hospital exept i had to be almost carried to the car this time as i could not even hold myself up..i remember falling asleep in the waiting room and then hearing my name being called to be seen...but not alot after that..

I remember collapsing in the corridoor and the next thing i remember was laying on a bed several nurses and doctors putting IVs and different tubes into me (including the doctor who misdiagnosed me) and hearing that word diabetes....

Woke up in intensive care with some family members by my side and in pain, attached to several drips including one that was pumping insulin into me like no tomoro! It was only later i understood what a bad state i was in. Apparently i got to the hospital at the right time as all my organs were starting to fail, my body was shutting down and i was very close to a coma

I hated hospital, I couldn't sleep due to them waking me every hour for a blood test, i had a IV in each arm, one massive one in my neck with numerous leads stapled onto it and dangling things coming off it attaching me to various liquids, because my body was deficient in well.. Everything as it goes, I had to drink liquid potassium which was foul and i won't even mention the catheter! I remember crying a lot and just thinking what have I done to deserve this??

I couldnt belive this was happening, there had been no record of any diabetes in either side of the family and i just felt so angry and confused. I spent 3 nights in intensive care and a further 2 in a general ward learning about my life long condition and how to inject myself and about eating right and nutrition etc...got given a big box of stuff which included a blood glucose meter, a novapen and other bits and pieces essential to a diabetic. The only thing that kept me sane was the support i got from many friends and family during my stay and i would like to thank everyone for coming to visit me, i would not have got through it without you guys.

Finally i got to leave when they were happy that i could manage by myself, and so my dad picked me up with various bruises, looking like something been bitten by dracula in a horror movie, i left scared, confused and angry that i now had a condition that would stay with me for my entire life...I had diabetes.

Live updates

GThought it may be an idea to do some live diabetic updates, maybe so people can understand more what it's like living with this condition when your not very well...(or have been stupid and not realised your insulin has leaked)

Anyway 

1:33am the need to pee (again!) and blood sugar check: 18.2 fml! 

4:47am wake up with the need to pee, mouth is also dry, blood sugar check: 19.3... :/

8:30am my alarm goes off for my insulin injection which i do with an added correction but forget to check blood sugar and go back to sleep 

11:30am blood sugar check: 9.9! The extra insulin I gave myself must have had some effect, feeling a bit better :)

What a day!

Bit of a nightmare today, well seeing as I have them at night why not during the day too! :/ 

1am went to pee

3am got up to pee

4am woke up to pee.... How I didn't suss anything was wrong at this point I don't know! Maybe too groggy/sleepy but anyway woke up as normal felt awful, blurred vision and knew something was off so I checked my sugar... 21.3 fuck!! 

I'd also had/still have some other health problems and had been ill the past week so thought maybe it was a recovery thing but the fact I then remembered this was my 4th pee in a short time I did start to worry! I had some important plans this morning so just decided to leave it for now and if it got worse or higher I would get some help! 

I tried to think of reasons that it could be but I was tired and couldn't really think straight not to mention my tummy rumbling due to not eating as my sugars were so high! 

I posted on facebook for help and a few of my diabetic friends had some good suggestions about changing insulin cartridges so I looked in my bag to have a glance at my pens and as I check one of them my hands were wet.... With insulin! The bottom of the cartridge was shattered and insulin was leaking out everywhere.... 

This had never happened before and I was so shocked that I hadn't noticed it! Nearly 5 years a diabetic and didn't even notice, well now I was feeling very stupid! I was however happy that I ha found the reason and I wasn't going to die :) 

Picked up some new insulin and sugars slowly started to come down, I still feel a bit rubbish and very stupid but alls well that ends well I guess! 

Nightmares....

Imagine laying in bed, completely aware of everything around you. You can hear the radio you left on and can open your eyes.... but you cant move, your body is still, paralysed. Suddenly you hearnoises, strange blood curdling noises, an overwhelming sense of fear comes over you and you feel something sat with you on your bed, hear its breathing, its growling.... it begins to move up your legs and suddenly you feel the covers moving back, and its breath on your cheek, growling like some sort of demon creature, you cannot move, your stuck but you feel the fear...the nightmare that is sleep paralysis.

The photo about depicts this really well, This is what i experience, i dont tell alot of people about it as i feel that i sound like a bit of a freak! but this known phenomenom is called sleep paralysis and its a sleep disorder that is becming more and more known, when i had my first one years ago i had no idea what it was but after some research found out all about the disorder.

Basically when you fall asleep during the REM stage your body releases chemicals that paralyse you so you dont act out your dreams.... people with sleep paralysis something goes wrong and we wake up before this process is complete, we are half way between asleep and awake, aware of everything but unable to move, and then we see hallucinations and have a horrible sense of fear and intrusion! Nobody knows why, it has been said that it is to do with the paranormal and demons but others argue its just a state of hallucination with a scientific explanation behind it. Some people have even reported to experience out of body experiences! There is more information here.

They say that every person will experience this at least once in their lifetime, for me its more like 1-2 times a week which has increased recently, i was going to go see my gp but then the episodes seemed to decrease, i think because i was happier a few weeks ago and now im not as happy, its also been linked to stress and sleep patterns, and i have also found that mine is triggered sometimes by high blood sugars before i sleep but not always.

Id be interested to know of anyones experiences with this, leave comments or contact me as i find the whole thing fascinating altho still the scariest thing i have ever experienced whilst sleeping!

Scientific explanation or demons at work??

Man up, its just a cold....

So as i am currently suffering from this cold/flu thing, sitting around feeling sorry for myself, i thought what better thing could i post about than illness!

When you have diabetes, sick days mean alot more than a cold and a sore throat.... An illness such as this can lead to an increase in our blood sugars and diabetics have to follow certain guidelines when this occurs. This includes checking our levels more often, increasing insulin doses, checking temperature, and making sure we drink lots of fluids, among other things.

Its ok to say to someone "man up its just a cold" but for us it really isnt, its alot more! When your body fights an illness, it releases extra glucose into the blood stream to try to help combat it.... obviously in a diabetic this is not helpful! Not only are we suffering with the illness, we are also battling to control our blood sugars, this leads to us not only feeling shitty from the cold but even worse due to high blood sugars, tired, achy, not being able to function properly, blurred vision, shakiness, slow reactions. Its important to keep levels down as if they become too high, it could lead to keytones and a hospital visit but sometimes we are fighting a losing battle and people dont tend to understand what we have to deal with when we are ill.

Whevever blood sugars are above 7mmols, it is doing some kind of damage to our body.... eyesight, lungs, heart etc and its hard not being able to control that damage just bacause you have an illness and cant get your blood sugars below 10... half the time there is no control and you do feel helpless :(

While im on the subject of illness im going to have a rant about the cold relief market! cough syrups, drinks, lozengers, all to give cold and flu relief.....all full of bloody sugar!! i found one packet of strepsils that were sugar free, double the amount of the others, and also double the price and more often then not full of laxatives! not impressd :(

So here is abit of advice, when somone is ill, dont be one of those people that say "man up" "get over it" "its just a cold" because they could be fighting a battle you cant see, you dont understand, and is bigger then you think. 

Well the photo below depics how my weekend will be, hope you all have a better one lol