All fun and games....

Ok so I got slightly worried last night due to coughing up what looked like bloody tissue and called 111, who got an out of hours Dr to call me back and told me to get an appointment ASAP! 

So saw the lovely Dr again today, I may as well move in to the surgery! Told them my symptoms haven't got any better and some new symptoms I had, they proceeded to poke and prod me, stuck a swab down my neck and nearly made me gag! Bleurghhhhh

Dr said that either the antibiotics aren't working as they should do OR I may possibly have glandular fever.... Im sorry what!? 

Apparently there is a blood test for glandular fever but you have to do it at a certain time otherwise it may not even show up in the results... So I have to wait another week and if my symptoms persist then they will do the test!

So now I'm on different antibiotics and feeling like a guinea pig :(

Just want this all to end now please!!/'s when it does I am putting myself into a sterile bubble!! 😷

It's ok, having tonsillitis means you can eat a ton of icecream......

Another upside to life as a diabetic.... Lol

So 2nd day off work, temperature has appeared to have gone down which is good so literally just dragged my self out the flat and over the road to get some more nurofen, soups and soft foods etc.... Felt like and most probably looked like death and glad it's just across the road! 

Not sleeping very well, I tend to wake up at random times I suspect when the painkillers I took before bed have run out and so I wake up wth horrible headaches and really difficult swallowing and breathing, some abdominal pain aswell :( and earache for some reason

As soon as the nurofen kicks in I am fine, just a bit of a sore throat and heavy head feeling but that's it, and I can deal with that it's just when they run out that is really painful! I also noticed last night the White bits at the back of my throat which weren't there when the doctor examined me and are really gross! However Iv been told that when they appear it's nearing the end of the infection so that's good I suppose! Skin appears to be healing too but not gonna give up my hopes just yet! 

Looking out the window and seeing how nice it is and all the people in the pub gardens doesn't make me feel better (even tho I would be at work anyway) but that's not the point lol 

Oh well another sunny day and there's me with my weetabix, soups and copious amounts of drugs yippee! 

Can't catch a break!

Safe to say this past month has been full of ups and downs, mostly downs unfortunatly! And not even talking about the diabetes, that's actually been for once the least of my worries! 

It al started with a nasty cold I have about three weeks ago, throat was very painful but thought nothing of it and it gradually subsided! However a week and a half later I wake up, look in the mirror and honestly I'm in shock! My skin had overnight broken out everywhere (I suffer from mild psoriasis) and so for the following couple weeks I tried everything to research why and even got myself on the list for light therapy! (Even though pretty pointless as they couldn't even see my till June!) so I had no confidence, self esteem and my doctor was no help whatsoever! So I was very down, hiding away and didn't want to see anyone! The only person who was helpful was my briliant dad who was giving me all sorts of tips and stuff and trying to cheer me up, so I thankyou so much for that :). 

A few days later after bathing myself in every lotion and potion I could get my hands on, I start to feel ill, my throat was sore, I could feel my glands were swollen and I was finding it hard to swallow, so I did some research and found out that outbreaks of psoriasis are common after having a throat infection! I didn't know this!? Probably as I haven't ever had a throat infection! This may explain it, This may have been why it happened as I could still be harbouring some infection from last time and actually I was now starting to feel very ill! 

Next day I made an appointment with the doctor but I was feeling very ill, checked my temperature and it was high! My head felt very heavy like I was in a bubble and my throat was killing me! There was no cough tho, I made a point of seeing a different doctor who after a few tests and that said that I had tonsillitis! I wasn't expecting that! So off I went with my ten days worth of antibiotics (80 tabs!) feeling like absolute death... Which is where I am now, in bed, off work in a lot of pain and with now what appears to be a chest infection as well! 

Seriously can I not catch a break!?  

That time of night again...

It's this time at night again where my stupid mind decides to think and look back on life....feeling angry about the fact I have not one, but two incurable illnesses and thinking about people I envy who have the perfect lives that are all coming together, when mine is falling apart... All the mistakes Iv made, how things could be so different right now, how much happier I would possibly be.... 

A dangerous thought trail to go down I know, not worth thinking about the should a, woulda, could a.. But sometimes I do wonder where I would be now if I didn't go on that holiday that made me poorly and led to this illness that will probably ending up killing me, if I had just done that one thing different with that special guy and not fuck everything up (again), if I just turned the steering wheel a teeny bit to the left and passed my damn driving test! 

People always say to me "life is what you make it" and whilst yes I agree, but it's pretty hard to do that when you have been dealt such a shit hand, (and before anyone says it yes I am aware there are people worse off then me!) but that doesn't mean I lose my right to complain!? what if I didn't choose to be ill, didn't choose to have something that totally demolishes my confidence and self esteem? I know I didn't choose this and yes I know that you should always make the best of what you have, but sometimes that can be so difficult when you feel like you have nothing positive, and your just waiting for the next bit of shit to come your way and shake your world even more....

On a more positive note, I have purple hair!! 

Time flies!

5 years ago on this day I was diagnosed... It's gone so quick! 

It's definitely been a rollarcoaster of emotions, that's for sure! So for my 5 year anniversary I thought I would share my diagnosis story.... It's a bit of an emotional one and still is to this date the scariest time in my life but here goes....

D day - my story 

I was so confused laying on a hospital bed....all i was hearing was this word 'Diabetes' I had heard of this word but did not know what it meant and was not aware of how this one little word was going to affect me for the rest of my life...

I had been feeling horrid all week! Drinking water, milk and anything I had to hand by the gallon and going to the toilet too many times to count, mouth was dry and sore throat, i was sick and had no appetite and had lost nearly a stone in weight...feeling very tired all the time and not wanting to move....what a way to end the great half term i was having. I put it down to a virus or a bug and went to bed that friday night feeling like death warmed up.

Woke up feeling worse than the previous day, made myself get up and dressed and felt so weak and tired, i knew something was wrong so i asked my friend to take me to A and E just to get myself checked out. Got seen pretty quickly and had a discussion with the doctor led to him diagnosing me with 'gastroenteritis' or something along those lines.... I protested alot as i knew it was more than that but i gave up and figured he was the doctor and he knew what was best, so took my gaviscon he gave me and went back home.

Woke up sunday midday...seriously not feeling good! Tried to get some food down me and also guzzled some lucozade for much needed energy boost. By about 4pm i was feeling so weak i could not even stand up without holding onto something, my breathing was really shallow too, my flatmate and our friend were in at the time and this led to another trip to the hospital exept i had to be almost carried to the car this time as i could not even hold myself up..i remember falling asleep in the waiting room and then hearing my name being called to be seen...but not alot after that..

I remember collapsing in the corridoor and the next thing i remember was laying on a bed several nurses and doctors putting IVs and different tubes into me (including the doctor who misdiagnosed me) and hearing that word diabetes....

Woke up in intensive care with some family members by my side and in pain, attached to several drips including one that was pumping insulin into me like no tomoro! It was only later i understood what a bad state i was in. Apparently i got to the hospital at the right time as all my organs were starting to fail, my body was shutting down and i was very close to a coma

I hated hospital, I couldn't sleep due to them waking me every hour for a blood test, i had a IV in each arm, one massive one in my neck with numerous leads stapled onto it and dangling things coming off it attaching me to various liquids, because my body was deficient in well.. Everything as it goes, I had to drink liquid potassium which was foul and i won't even mention the catheter! I remember crying a lot and just thinking what have I done to deserve this??

I couldnt belive this was happening, there had been no record of any diabetes in either side of the family and i just felt so angry and confused. I spent 3 nights in intensive care and a further 2 in a general ward learning about my life long condition and how to inject myself and about eating right and nutrition etc...got given a big box of stuff which included a blood glucose meter, a novapen and other bits and pieces essential to a diabetic. The only thing that kept me sane was the support i got from many friends and family during my stay and i would like to thank everyone for coming to visit me, i would not have got through it without you guys.

Finally i got to leave when they were happy that i could manage by myself, and so my dad picked me up with various bruises, looking like something been bitten by dracula in a horror movie, i left scared, confused and angry that i now had a condition that would stay with me for my entire life...I had diabetes.

Live updates

GThought it may be an idea to do some live diabetic updates, maybe so people can understand more what it's like living with this condition when your not very well...(or have been stupid and not realised your insulin has leaked)

Anyway 

1:33am the need to pee (again!) and blood sugar check: 18.2 fml! 

4:47am wake up with the need to pee, mouth is also dry, blood sugar check: 19.3... :/

8:30am my alarm goes off for my insulin injection which i do with an added correction but forget to check blood sugar and go back to sleep 

11:30am blood sugar check: 9.9! The extra insulin I gave myself must have had some effect, feeling a bit better :)

What a day!

Bit of a nightmare today, well seeing as I have them at night why not during the day too! :/ 

1am went to pee

3am got up to pee

4am woke up to pee.... How I didn't suss anything was wrong at this point I don't know! Maybe too groggy/sleepy but anyway woke up as normal felt awful, blurred vision and knew something was off so I checked my sugar... 21.3 fuck!! 

I'd also had/still have some other health problems and had been ill the past week so thought maybe it was a recovery thing but the fact I then remembered this was my 4th pee in a short time I did start to worry! I had some important plans this morning so just decided to leave it for now and if it got worse or higher I would get some help! 

I tried to think of reasons that it could be but I was tired and couldn't really think straight not to mention my tummy rumbling due to not eating as my sugars were so high! 

I posted on facebook for help and a few of my diabetic friends had some good suggestions about changing insulin cartridges so I looked in my bag to have a glance at my pens and as I check one of them my hands were wet.... With insulin! The bottom of the cartridge was shattered and insulin was leaking out everywhere.... 

This had never happened before and I was so shocked that I hadn't noticed it! Nearly 5 years a diabetic and didn't even notice, well now I was feeling very stupid! I was however happy that I ha found the reason and I wasn't going to die :) 

Picked up some new insulin and sugars slowly started to come down, I still feel a bit rubbish and very stupid but alls well that ends well I guess!