"Your blood test results came back...."

Interesting phone call from the doctor this morning... " your blood test results came back positive for glandular fever" Oh! so it wasn't tonsillitis then!?

So turns out that it was a lot more than tonsillitis and signs of poor liver function showed up in my routine diabetic bloods! No wonder I was feeling so ill, altho maybe I was a lucky one as Iv heard of people being ill for months with glandular fever and for me it was only a couple of weeks...

So anyway now they want to do a liver function test to make sure that everything is back to normal as the glandular fever affected how it was working, they have also told me I cannot drink..... Not ideal considering it's my birthday weekend this week but I'm going to speak to the doctor about that! 

March is turning out to be a rather unhealthy month! Let's hope for better next month please :) 

Can't catch a break!

Safe to say this past month has been full of ups and downs, mostly downs unfortunatly! And not even talking about the diabetes, that's actually been for once the least of my worries! 

It al started with a nasty cold I have about three weeks ago, throat was very painful but thought nothing of it and it gradually subsided! However a week and a half later I wake up, look in the mirror and honestly I'm in shock! My skin had overnight broken out everywhere (I suffer from mild psoriasis) and so for the following couple weeks I tried everything to research why and even got myself on the list for light therapy! (Even though pretty pointless as they couldn't even see my till June!) so I had no confidence, self esteem and my doctor was no help whatsoever! So I was very down, hiding away and didn't want to see anyone! The only person who was helpful was my briliant dad who was giving me all sorts of tips and stuff and trying to cheer me up, so I thankyou so much for that :). 

A few days later after bathing myself in every lotion and potion I could get my hands on, I start to feel ill, my throat was sore, I could feel my glands were swollen and I was finding it hard to swallow, so I did some research and found out that outbreaks of psoriasis are common after having a throat infection! I didn't know this!? Probably as I haven't ever had a throat infection! This may explain it, This may have been why it happened as I could still be harbouring some infection from last time and actually I was now starting to feel very ill! 

Next day I made an appointment with the doctor but I was feeling very ill, checked my temperature and it was high! My head felt very heavy like I was in a bubble and my throat was killing me! There was no cough tho, I made a point of seeing a different doctor who after a few tests and that said that I had tonsillitis! I wasn't expecting that! So off I went with my ten days worth of antibiotics (80 tabs!) feeling like absolute death... Which is where I am now, in bed, off work in a lot of pain and with now what appears to be a chest infection as well! 

Seriously can I not catch a break!?  

That time of night again...

It's this time at night again where my stupid mind decides to think and look back on life....feeling angry about the fact I have not one, but two incurable illnesses and thinking about people I envy who have the perfect lives that are all coming together, when mine is falling apart... All the mistakes Iv made, how things could be so different right now, how much happier I would possibly be.... 

A dangerous thought trail to go down I know, not worth thinking about the should a, woulda, could a.. But sometimes I do wonder where I would be now if I didn't go on that holiday that made me poorly and led to this illness that will probably ending up killing me, if I had just done that one thing different with that special guy and not fuck everything up (again), if I just turned the steering wheel a teeny bit to the left and passed my damn driving test! 

People always say to me "life is what you make it" and whilst yes I agree, but it's pretty hard to do that when you have been dealt such a shit hand, (and before anyone says it yes I am aware there are people worse off then me!) but that doesn't mean I lose my right to complain!? what if I didn't choose to be ill, didn't choose to have something that totally demolishes my confidence and self esteem? I know I didn't choose this and yes I know that you should always make the best of what you have, but sometimes that can be so difficult when you feel like you have nothing positive, and your just waiting for the next bit of shit to come your way and shake your world even more....

On a more positive note, I have purple hair!!