So far, so good :)

So it's the new year and already there has been some positive changes! 

A couple of weeks ago a senior position was going at my work so I applied and was shortlisted for an interview! So a couple weeks later I am waiting to go in, having done the written test and a shit load of preparation, and am literally shaking! (I'm not great in interview panels) but I came out really positive having done my best and headed home to finally relax.

A couple hours later my managers number flashes up on my phone, I was thinking maybe I had left something at work as I wasn't expecting to hear back until a few days, nope! She called to inform me that all the interviews had been done and she would like to offer me the position.....  I GOT THE JOB!

Pretty sure I squealed down the phone haha, she then went on to say that I was heads and shoulders above the rest and I should be really pleased :) so I'm officially a senior from the start of February and so happy! A lot more responsibility though, I will be working with management a lot more and mentoring new staff as well as existing support workers! I'm sure I will find my place soon as u guess it's hard to do that when stepping up to a new position, and I know I will have the support of everyone at work! Needless to say I went out straight away to celebrate! A few bottles of wine later ( with good company :) My friends all came out to celebrate with me and a few hours later went to bed with the room spinning haha! Well it was a celebration after all :D 

Two of my close friends recently got engaged as well, who I could not be happier for! so we have been celebrating the occasion as well as some birthdays! Some other things are maybe too soon to mention also but appear to be positive too and I'm pretty happy :) 

Holiday planning is well underway as well, which is great as I get to spend time with my girls :) only downside is that yet again my driving has taken a back seat.... As I am now saving for the holiday as well as paying back my loan.... I really could do with a money tree!! :) 

As for the diabetes... I don't think iv actually moaned about it in a while! Iv had a couple of hypos but that's it really, not been bothering me too much and iv had my mind on other happy things....

I can honestly say this could be the happiest I have been in ages :) 

Happy new year!

Hope you all had a good one, im just about feeling human again after a rather boozy night! My work xmas do was brilliant and im excited to start a new year with all my amazing work family :) i was working alot over xmas but now have a few days off to see family and friends which is nice.

I make no resolutions, i never do as they never stick anyway haha i just want to survive another year without killing anyone, myself, and oh not crash anymore cars :) maybe pass my driving test and stop biting my nails! ok so i do have some but i would rather call them life goals than resolutions!

One thing i would like to do is get my diabetes care back on track... i honesty cant remember the last time i had a blood test or saw a diabetes specialist which is awful i know but life and other matters seem to have got in the way and diabetes took a back seat which it should never do :(

Think the hardest thing will be remembering to write 2015 on everything now lol

So heres to a happy and healthy (ish) new year to all! 

How to fail your driving test in 30 mins.....

How do you know when you've failed your driving test? When your exchanging insurance details in the car park... That's how! 

Yep, it was my 2nd time round, feeling confident and positive.... Oh how that was short lived! I don't think I could have failed more spectacularly if I tried :( 

Was doing the independent driving route, which I found out was a route I had never been with my instructor during lessons! Panicked a little but thought I could do it! Was at a big roundabout with 4 exits which were traffic light controlled, looked at the sign and got myself into the correct lane and moved onto the next set of lights, and as the lights went green I had a look at the sign to make sure I was at the right exit and swerved over the Lane and into somebody's car...... 

Needless to say I was shaken and upset, the guy I hit was lovely about it all and all he was concerned about was me.... My examiner was a complete dick and not once asked if I was ok and was more concerend about himself and the car, as was my instructor. I was also told that accidents on driving tests are very rare... So of course that made me feel much better!! :/

Later in the day I got a call from the guy I hit and obviously I thought the worst, but turns out he just wanted to call me to definitely make sure I was ok :) then told me not to worry as it took him 4 tries to pass his test bless him! Not many people would have done tha

So I'm now probably known as the girl who crashed at the test centre... Maybe need to change? 

I won't give up! Seeing my car on the drive every day is all the incentive I need :) 

The emotional side......

So I have been stuck in some sort of sad state for a few days that I couldn't snap myself out of until now! Due to my diabetes uv had a lot of problems with my teeth that I thought I had all sorted last Christmas! At my recent dental appointment it has come to light that all the work I had done had failed and I either need to have all the work done again or have the teeth taken out.....  As well as that I was told I had three infections and have to take more antibiotics.....This triggered something inside of me and to to be honest I totally broke down there and then in the dentist chair! 

This is the part of diabetes that people don't see.... Yes we look healthy on the outside but it's a totally different story on the inside let me tell you! Yes we do the finger pricks and the injections and to be honest that doesn't not bother me, yes they aren't nice but you get used to them, I don't hate the physical side to diabetes, however It's hard to see the emotional side of having diabetes and even harder for people to understand... Especially if your like me and bottle up everything which makes it even worse. 

So here goes I'm opening up and telling it how it is for once! 

I don't hate the physical side of diabetes, I hate diabetes for the way it makes me feel, the way it makes me scared that I won't live through the night, the constant worry of what's going to happen in the future and when I sometimes cry myself to sleep when I think about whats going to happen in 10 years time? Will I still have my feet? My kidneys? Who wants to be with a person who's body is falling apart!? I hate diabetes for taking away my confidence and my ability to form healthy relationships... And distancing myself from people I love. I hate it for never giving me a break, never having a day off and throwing everything back in my face despite trying every effort to control it! I hate that it can make me feel so strong but at the same time make me break down into a pool of tears... It's this side that people don't see and it makes you feel so alone sometimes and no non diabetic will ever understand the pain, I'm lucky that I have amazing friends who really try to understand and pick me up when I'm feeling down and sorry for myself and I know they can never understand fully what I experience but the fact they are always there to support me means the world. 💛💙💜💚❤️

Low

Sorry iv not posted, been at work/Weymouth for the past two days and lots of stuff happening, busy busy!

So got home from work after having a lovely dinner, chilled out on the sofa watching telly and feel a bit hungry to go and grab some crisps... Start to feel hot, shakey and wobbly and low and behold...... 

I suspect all the walking in Weymouth had some play in this...Not the lowest I have had but at least I know my hypo awareness is good!! So after munching some reduced Halloween gummy fangs, I am now demolishing a big bag of Phileas fog tortilla chips, which most diabetics will know will come back to bite me in the arse later on, hey ho! 😆

A more exciting subject!

Ok so the following days are BG readings and food etc... Iv been eating on the run and been at work a lot and so couldn't take photos of what Iv been eating and it wouldn't really make sense! So Iv decided to go a little off the diabetes topic and share my new purchase that I got yesterday........

Yep I bought a car.... Not just a car but my first ever car!! Finalised the purchase yesterday and this little beauty is all mine! It's perfect with only a few miles on the clock, immaculate inside and out, and only one previous owner :) 

So hopefully when I get all this tax and insurance business sorted out (it's literally giving me a headache) I will be able to drive it home at the weekend! 

For those of you who don't know, no I haven't passed my test yet lol but when I do at least I will be all ready to go! 

Pretty sure I have broken my bank account the last few days shelling out for the car, driving lessons, car insurance, dentist fees, road tax and so on! But I'm sure it will all be worth it :) 

November challenge - day 9: hypos

Day 9: hypos

For those who are unaware, a hypo is a short name for hypoglycaemia, this is where blood sugar falls to a dangerous level, this is usually below 4mmols for most diabetics. This is dangerous and if not treated immediately can be fatal as our body will begin to shut down and may fall into a coma. A hypo needs to be treated quickly with a small amount of sugar to bring the blood glucose levels back up to a stable level. Every diabetic will always have a stash of sweets/sugary carbs on them for this reason. 

When my blood sugar goes below this level I start feeling very ill, diabetics experience different hypo awareness, for me personally I start to feel very hot, very dizzy, hungry and then my hands start to shake followed by a very strange feeling that I can only describe as "feeling like jelly" it's very hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it! 

I have pretty good hypo awareness, which means I can easily tell when my blood glucose is falling, I will then do a finger prick and if below 4 will have some sweets or sugary carbohydrate to bring them back up! After 15 mins or so the rule is to test again, if still low have more glucose, then when blood sugars rise always have some long acting carbohydrate to make sure they stay up and done fall again, this could be a bit of toast or a couple of biscuits... After a hypo you can feel worn out and won't recover for a while, a lot of diabetics including me experience the "uncontrollable urge to eat everything phase" again very hard to explain, out body is basically craving carbs due to the low blood glucose! But if we give in to the urge it usually ends up with our sugar going the opposite way, it's a hard habit to break! 

So what do I use for my hypos? 

I usually carry sweets on me at all times, whatever I fancy at the time really, I like fruit pastils at the moment but you won't ever catch me with those awful gluco tabs yeughh!!